Melissa of The Kindfulness Effect on Optimism & working with me!

Meet Melissa, Founder of The Kindfulness Effect – offering yoga, meditation and mindfulness group classes and 1:1 services, as well as corporate wellness sessions.

Website: https://www.thekindfulnesseffect.com/

Social: https://www.instagram.com/thekindfulnesseffect/

Intro from Melissa:

Hi! I’m Melissa. I’m a passionate advocate of empowering people to lead healthier and happier lives, to raise their consciousness and to see how this not only benefits them, but also the people and the world around them.

Having experienced the transformative effects of mindfulness in my own recovery from PTSD, I was inspired to study for a degree in psychology & philosophy and subsequently set up The Kindfulness Effect. I am now  a fully qualified and accredited mindfulness, meditation, yoga teacher and coach.

Prior to this I spent 15 years working in various management positions in a global company and I’m also a fully qualified English Language Teacher. It was during my time as a teacher that I started sharing my ideas, knowledge and practices with students – this grew organically and so The Kindfulness Effect was born. 

Kindfulness isn’t what I do – it’s also who I am. 

About The Kindfulness Effect:

Mindfulness + Kindness + Gratitude = Kindfulness
Mindfulness isn’t a one-size fits all solution. I believe that combining mindful practice with conscious kindness and conscious gratitude provides a more holistic approach to wellbeing, because Kindfulness requires both an inward and outward focus and creates connection.

Practising Kindfulness reminds you to be forgiving, compassionate and friendly (to yourself, others and the world around you) whilst being mindful. This all results in finding more moments of gratitude in your day, and so the cycle continues.

The Kindfulness Effect’s Vision – To create a ripple effect of Kindfulness , one person at a time – starting with you.

My mission is to educate and inspire and to make the world a better place with awareness, kindness & gratitude, by throwing Kindfulness around like confetti!

 

Why I work with Lauren:

When I first met Lauren my business was in its infancy and I was struggling to see the wood for the trees. Since then, Lauren has helped me get clearer on my values, my vision and mission, my marketing plan and to recognise that it’s ok to not do it all!

She’s helped me tune into my intuition and focus on the things that work for me – rather than agitate me! Lauren is supportive, generous and a calming presence and being part of the Intuitive Business Academy has helped me feel supported, and part of a like-minded group of and kind individuals.

Connecting with a cyclical way of working in a way that works for me has been so helpful and this, combined with Lauren’s expertise has really helped me to start to find a better balance. I’m still a work in progress – aren’t we all – but I’m thankful to Lauren and the other members for their support as I progress and share The Kindfulness Effect.

 

Why choose optimism?

Optimism is one of my values. For me it means looking for the good first, keeping an open mind and not leaping to negative conclusions or making assumptions. It’s about giving “good” a chance to show up.

 

Now some may say that optimism can make you naïve or idealistic. I’d challenge that. For me, optimism isn’t fake positivity – it’s not saying that things are great when they’re not, or the belief that somehow things will magically become great. It’s recognising things as they are now and responding wisely to that. It’s about being resilient and positive, while firmly grounded in reality.

 

Optimism is recognising that nothing is permanent and that the positive actions I take today will help shape the future for the better; for me and others. So If times are hard, it helps me recognise that it will pass, and if times are great, I try and make sure I soak up every bit of enjoyment from it, in the knowledge that it will pass too.

 

1. It makes you braver.

If you’re optimistic you’re much more likely to take calculated risks. To travel and explore different cultures, to leave the job or relationship that isn’t working for you anymore and to start, and try new things. Stepping out of your comfort zone isn’t easy, but when you reflect with optimism you see the lessons, not the regrets and when you look forward you choose to focus on the opportunities, not the potential pitfalls.

 

2. It helps you live a longer and healthier life.

Optimists tend to look after themselves better, which could be one of the reasons that they have lower rates of heart disease, depression, and chronic illness. When faced with health issues, optimists are less likely to take a fatalistic view and more likely to take positive steps to understand, treat and cope with it. Research shows that optimists tend to live up to 15% longer than average and are more likely to live beyond the age of 85.

 

3. It builds resilience.

Optimists deal better with uncertainty, change and difficulties and cope better with stress overall. They take more direct action in the face of adversity, seeing the opportunity and the lesson, rather than wasting too much time dwelling on worries or about how things could have been different.

 

4. It improves connection.

Optimists see the similarities between people and not the differences, so they are much more likely to build meaningful relationships and maintain and nurture the ones that bring them the most joy. This is critical to your overall wellbeing and happiness, because every piece of research on happiness shows that connection is key.

 

But can you really train yourself to be optimistic? The good news is, yes!

 

Optimism isn’t a mindset, it’s a behaviour and one we can cultivate – here are 5 ways to get you started:

1. Practise mindfulness to heighten your awareness

When your mind starts drifting to the past or rushing to the future and catastrophising to find reasons not to believe the positives, you’ll be more able to recognise that the only real truth is what is here now and you can base your choices on that. Taking positive actions based on the here and now.

 

2. Practise gratitude

Even when times are really hard, there’s always something to be grateful for. Set up a gratitude jar or journal; before going to bed at night, note down three to five things you are grateful for from that day. You can also practise this as a family. When you train your brain to focus on the positive, optimism becomes your go to option.

3. Be kind

Being kind on purpose and noticing how that feels has a positive impact on all involved. Whether you give, receive, or simply witness kindness, it gives you a boost and reminds you of the good in the world and our connection to others and floods your body with feelgood hormones – making you more optimistic.

4. Change your language to change your perspective

Changing the way you think begins with changing the words you use. One method you can try is “stop-think-change.” When you notice a pessimistic thought, STOP and notice it. THINK about how you can turn the scenario to a more positive one and then CHANGE your words to make your thoughts more positive. By changing your words, you’ll notice that you are starting to feel more optimistic. For example – “urrrrgh I have to go to work today” becomes: “I get to go to work today” or “I should or shouldn’t do….” becomes “I want to or I’d like to do…..” More about this in a future blog!

5. Visualise the positives

Visualisation can help you move positively towards your goals. This is not ‘I’ve thought it so it will happen’ but rather an evidence backed technique in which we begin to see the possibility of achieving our goals. Be specific and practice frequently – what will it look like, sound like and how will it feel when you’ve achieved your goals? Studies show visualisation can improve concentration, motivation and reduce fear and anxiety.

 

By putting these actions into practice, we can rewire our brains and train ourselves to be more optimistic, ultimately making us more resilient, happier and healthier. And remember, practice makes progress; every time you focus on the positives, that is what grows.

 

Optimism may not always be the easy choice, but it’s certainly the right one.

 

Upcoming FREE Mindfulness Workshops:

If you’ve ever wondered what mindfulness is all about and why people like me go on about it all the time – now is your chance to find out a bit more about it. And for free!

This introductory workshop will provide you with a basic introduction to mindfulness and its magical powers! I will also share with you details about my upcoming and life-changing 8 week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course, should you want to take your mindfulness journey to the next level.

The workshop is FREE & takes place on Zoom.

To book your place, register through Eventbrite and you’ll receive an email with the details to join the session.

Note from Lauren:

If you are looking to bring Mindfulness into your everyday life in a really practical guided way, i can’t speak highly enough of Melissa’s MBSR course which I completed earlier this year. The whole experience was very supportive and incredibly insightful. I especially found the half day silent retreat that is included with it a huge release and chance to still my mind.