Being diagnosed with ADHD at 38
Back in February I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had suspected it for a while, but there is so much stigma around it. It was never a condition I had really identified with before until I started researching it. I had initially started looking into it after thinking there was a possibility my son may have a leaning toward ADHD.
I don’t fit the ’normal profile’ of someone with ADHD:
- I can sit still, though I’ve always been one to doodle whilst in classes at school / university
- I am a 39 year old woman who can hold down a job, though in my 20s I never stayed in a job longer than 18 months…
- I basically look like I have my shit together- at least from the outside looking in!
- I was a quiet and well-behaved shy child – teachers always told me to ‘speak up’
- I can finish a book, though I have a reading pile of many unfinished books and I love the Blinkist app for quick book summaries!
The reactions
I can see people raising their eyebrows when I tell them about the diagnosis, as I don’t fit what we stereotypically associate with ADHD- that is, a young or teenage boy causing havoc at school. Though there seems to be quite a movement happening at the moment with many women of a similar age also being diagnosed – being missed until now because we don’t display how it normally shows up.
Check out this somewhat hidden post on my grid which I wrote just before I was diagnosed officially:
What I have learnt so far
I have Inattentive type ADHD, this manifests as:
- Struggling to see self-worth / people pleasing
- Rushing things
- Impatience
- Clumsiness
- Issues with short term memory (forgetfulness)
- Often losing / misplacing things
- Struggling keeping to a schedule
- Feeling trapped within myself
- Burn out / fatigue
- Symptoms of chronic anxiety / depression
- Insomnia, broken sleep, lucid dreams
- Exacerbated PMT symptoms (hello hot flushes and mood swings!)
Whilst many people may struggle with some of these symptoms, having all of them combined and really recognising the impact they have had on me emotionally and in the way I live my day to day life has been really eye-opening.
Things I was intuitively doing to work WITH my ADHD not against it:
Body Doubling
With ADHD, there is a well known technique called ’Body Doubling’ where just the presence of another person can help you focus on the task at hand. Ever since I’ve worked remotely outside of an office since 2015, I have always sought out ways to be around people when working. I ran a co-working club from 2018 to 2020. I also join online co-working sessions regularly.
Doodling
I struggled to pay attention at school – often I would be looking or working on something else other than what the teacher was instructing us on- though I looked like I was working and learnt to effectively mask my inattention. I would always fill pages and pages with doodles. My favourite doodling patterns consisted of many conjoined stars or organic plant-like patterns.
Overcoming burnout
Well before I even considered investigating the ADHD route, I recognised my tendency to burn out and over-working. My early work career was within marketing / advertising agencies where we had to take on client amends and turn around work really quickly. Late nights and long hours were expected. Leaving on time was frowned upon and wouldn’t have helped my career progression at the time.
Great ADHD Resources
I have been listening to Kate Moryoussef’s brilliant Podcast – https://www.instagram.com/adhd_womenswellbeing_pod/
I read the book ‘The Scattered Mind’ by Gabor Maté – found this really insightful, though some parts I didn’t fully agree with-
https://buuks.co.uk/shop/scattered-minds-276048p.html
I also love this Instagram account for a lighter look at ADHD Symptoms- https://www.instagram.com/myladyadhd/
Free downloads
Let me know if you relate to what I’ve shared here or if you’ve recently been diagnosed. All my free downloads are aimed to help in some way calm that overwhelm and task avoidance we often feel! If you want to get in touch privately, my email is lauren@aligned-purposeful.com
I’ve never felt more understood in my life (well…except I probably couldn’t have finished writing an article about it). I’m 38 and if anyone would have told my I’ve got ADHD I would have laughed and brushed it off. That’s what fidgety, loud little boys have, right?
It’s only thanks to seeing peoples shorts on Facebook and Instagram reels with explaining their symptoms that I started to get the epiphany of ‘hang on a minute…why does that all resonate with me so much?’ Long story short – thank you for your blog post! It’s so important for women to highlight that differences in upbringing (having internalised to be compliant etc) can actually mask the symptoms.