Being Diagnosed with ADHD at 38
Back in February I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had suspected it for a while, but there is so much stigma around it. It was never a condition I had really identified with before until I started researching it. I had initially started looking into it after thinking there was a possibility my son may have a leaning toward ADHD.
I don’t fit the ‘normal’ profile of someone with ADHD
I can sit still, though I’ve always been one to doodle whilst in classes at school / university
I am a 39 year old woman who can hold down a job, though in my 20s I never stayed in a job longer than 18 months…
I basically look like I have my shit together- at least from the outside looking in!
I was a quiet and well-behaved shy child - teachers always told me to 'speak up'
I can finish a book, though I have a reading pile of many unfinished books and I love the Blinkist app for quick book summaries!
The reactions
I can see people raising their eyebrows when I tell them about the diagnosis, as I don’t fit what we stereotypically associate with ADHD- that is, a young or teenage boy causing havoc at school. Though there seems to be quite a movement happening at the moment with many women of a similar age also being diagnosed - being missed until now because we don't display how it normally shows up.
Check out this somewhat hidden post on my grid which I wrote just before I was diagnosed officially:
What I have learnt so far:
I have Inattentive type ADHD, this manifests as:
Struggling to see self-worth / people pleasing
Rushing things
Impatience
Clumsiness
Issues with short term memory (forgetfulness)
Often losing / misplacing things
Struggling keeping to a schedule
Feeling trapped within myself
Burn out / fatigue
Symptoms of chronic anxiety / depression
Insomnia, broken sleep, lucid dreams
Exacerbated PMT symptoms (hello hot flushes and mood swings!)
Whilst many people may struggle with some of these symptoms, having all of them combined and really recognising the impact they have had on me emotionally and in the way I live my day to day life has been really eye-opening.
Things I was intuitively doing to work WITH my ADHD not against it:
Body Doubling
With ADHD, there is a well known technique called ’Body Doubling’ where just the presence of another person can help you focus on the task at hand. Ever since I’ve worked remotely outside of an office since 2015, I have always sought out ways to be around people when working. I ran a co-working club from 2018 to 2020. I also join online co-working sessions regularly.
Doodling
I struggled to pay attention at school - often I would be looking or working on something else other than what the teacher was instructing us on- though I looked like I was working and learnt to effectively mask my inattention. I would always fill pages and pages with doodles. My favourite doodling patterns consisted of many conjoined stars or organic plant-like patterns.
Overcoming burnout
Well before I even considered investigating the ADHD route, I recognised my tendency to burn out and over-working. My early work career was within marketing / advertising agencies where we had to take on client amends and turn around work really quickly. Late nights and long hours were expected. Leaving on time was frowned upon and wouldn’t have helped my career progression at the time.
Great ADHD Resources
I have been listening to Kate Moryoussef's brilliant Podcast
https://www.instagram.com/adhd_womenswellbeing_pod/
I read the book 'The Scattered Mind' by Gabor Maté - found this really insightful, though some parts I didn't fully agree with-
https://buuks.co.uk/shop/scattered-minds-276048p.html
I also love this Instagram account for a lighter look at ADHD Symptoms- https://www.instagram.com/myladyadhd/
Free downloads
Let me know if you relate to what I've shared here or if you've recently been diagnosed. All my free downloads are aimed to help in some way calm that overwhelm and task avoidance we often feel! If you want to get in touch privately, my email is lauren@aligned-purposeful.com
